Can you bring your full "messy and nuanced" self to work?
When Paloma Newton sits in a meeting, she’s minding her body language; trying to act just the right amount of confident; and shaping her opinions to appease others in the room. Welcome to The Club.
Paloma Newton on reshaping the Australian startup ecosystem
“Women have had to exist in these defined spaces.
“We archetype ourselves as people-pleasers, and we archetype ourselves as workaholics, and that’s because we still feel like we have to fight just to exist in a room.”
Paloma Newton is a startup founder, a marketing guru and a genuine force for change – as in, she has helped shape online harassment and revenge porn laws.
That’s not what she sat down to talk to me about. But when I asked: “If you could change one thing about the startup ecosystem…?” It should have been no surprise that she went BIG.
“There are loads of structural issues,” she says.
“I would change the power imbalances that currently exist.”
So… not exactly something we can fix over a coffee. The good news is, she’s already getting to it.
Disrupting the disruptors
Among other things, Paloma is one of eight founders of Grapevine, a not-for-profit shining a light on sexual harassment and other problematic behaviours in the tech sector, to create conversation and actionable change.
She’s seen first-hand the effects of systemic imbalances in this space. But the fix won’t come from pointing fingers.
“It’s really important to continually acknowledge that the startup ecosystem in Australia is like 12 years old,” she says. “It’s a baby.”
Back in the early 2010s, when the first Aussie VCs were raising their first funds, they started by reaching out to their rich friends for backing. Not many of those rich friends were women.
This was the foundation from which today’s ecosystem grew. It wasn’t deliberately built to exclude anyone; gender equality just wasn’t front of mind.
“I don’t think there was any malice or ill-intent,” Paloma says.
“There were probably so many problems they were trying to solve at that time, even just to build a system.
“I’m conscious of the systems that were stacked against them, as well as the systems that were stacked against us.”
Being “a little bit difficult”
If we’re going to rewire the structure of an entire ecosystem, first we need to change the way we view the women within it.
“Women have had to exist in these defined spaces,” Paloma explains.
“We archetype ourselves as people-pleasers, and we archetype ourselves as workaholics, and that’s because we still feel like we have to fight just to exist in a room.
“I don’t know if that’s something that a lot of my male counterparts understand quite to the same level.
“When I’m in a meeting, I can’t just have organic thoughts because I’m constantly thinking about how I’m presenting; if I’m coming across as angry; if I’m coming across as difficult; if I’m challenging too much or not enough; if my question is intelligent enough.”
Paloma works closely with her partner, and in many ways, they’re very similar people.
“But his ability to just say what he thinks, or get angry, is seen as passion and leadership. When I do the same thing, it’s seen as a little bit ‘eye-roll’; a little bit ‘difficult’.
“I just wish we would stop expecting things from women. I wish we could allow them to be their messy and nuanced selves that we fucking know they are.”
A reluctant optimist
Paloma doesn’t see herself as an optimist. But she is optimistic.
We are heading in the right direction, she says. Some people will be dragged along kicking and screaming, but dragged along they will be – because there is no other option.
“I take a little bit of pleasure in that,” she muses.
Earlier this month, almost 5,000 Australian businesses shared their gender pay gap data for the first time. Of course, there were some problematic takes (because LinkedIn), but the report highlighted inequality in black and white. And it has led to reflection.
“The acknowledgement that we are working on the systems is what I’m optimistic about. We are moving towards a better future.”
Back in 2015, when Paloma launched her first not-for-profit, Sexual Violence Won’t Be Silenced, a group campaigning for action against online abuse, she was doxxed and threatened relentlessly.
“One guy would make 45-minute YouTube videos about me. I had my phone number and address posted on Reddit.
“When we launched Grapevine, I was scared.
“But this time, the reception to the work we’re doing is really different. It’s people wanting to learn.”
Paloma says she’s a cynic. But she also genuinely believes in progress over perfection; rehabilitation over cancel culture.
“I don’t believe that anyone can’t be better. It’s important to me that men know this is not about saying you’re a piece of shit.
“It's about saying the structures that you exist in have been really awful to 50% of the population. You have the power every single day to do something to make that better.”
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About Paloma
Paloma Newton is co-founder of Grapevine, a freelance marketer and the host of Calling Operator, a podcast spotlighting the operators behind the scenes of some of Australia’s most successful startups.
She’s also working on a new venture, currently in stealth mode. No, she wouldn’t tell me what it is. Yes, now I desperately want to know.
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Who are we?
We’re Marie Dowling and Stef Palmer-Derrien, two business buddies navigating the tech, startup and small biz world with toddlers in tow.
👸🏻 Stef Palmer-Derrien is a freelance writer, journalist and word person, specialising in startups, tech and small business. Stef is also the co-founder and editor of The Club as well as media advisor at Newsary.
Stef is a parent to an almost two-year-old wrecking ball of a child, and also a dog who has absolutely no chill.
👸🏼 Marie Dowling is the other brain behind The Club and a self-proclaimed startup town crier. As the founder of PR startups Newsary and EzyCom, she is committed to democratising PR to share all the stories that make our world move.
She’s also la maman to a beautiful two-year-old and an Australian bulldog who does nothing but chill.